| Do Re Mi | 11:39 PM |
Me and Ed at Do Re Mi singing our hearts out
So we finally had our karaoke night that we've been talking about for like a year. And it was way less painful than I expected. In fact, it was fun the entire time. I think Ed or someone just started singing as soon as we got into our room and we were off. Then we were fighting over microphones and songs...no, actually there wasn't any fighting, but there was lots of singing with and without mics. My favorite was "Dick in a Box" by Ed and Isaac -- I wish they would perform that at every get together of ours! Sadly, the photos didn't come out that great. I wanted to post the cute one of me and Ineke singing "I Kissed a Girl" on either side of Ed while he's taking a swig off a flask but it was a little blurry. Instead you can enjoy my tonsils. I don't even know what we were singing, but boy am I into it.
Do Re Mi was an interesting venue. You rent a room with a karaoke machine in it. It's Korean -- you can tell by all the Korean text I can't read. There's no bouncing ball over the words to help you time your singing to songs you don't know so well. It just lights up the word at the speed you're supposed to go. And the next line is above the line you're singing. I found that a little weird. One of my other favorite moments in the room: Jess tearing down a wall light in the karaoke room. It took two men to fix it.
We went back to The Bar on Mission afterwards. One of us girls said something about not liking her body (wasn't me!). And one of our male friends, god bless his soul, said something to the effect of, oh dear, if you girls only knew that i'd lick rancid butter off of any of you. Which I interpretted to mean you're crazy. you girls are all crazy about your bodies cause you're all so hot i'd lick nasty rotten food off of any of your bodies just so i could put my tongue on you.
Then it was on to my house where we set off all my smoke detectors and filled my living room with smoke at about 2 in the morning. Isaac says "You've never used the fireplace?! You're breaking my heart." Mike says "Fire?" I say "I have duraflames!" Light fire. Mike examines the flue. No one's really sure if it's open or not. The fire going in the fireplace smells like...melting plastic. Jess goes "cough cough". Smoke detectors activate so we disassemble them all. Minutes drag on...we end up kiling the fire with a fire extinguisher. Fun while it lasted. This morning my entire living room was covered in ash.
| Girls' Dinner | 1:06 AM |
The boys are off on their survival trip -- no food, no water, just some long johns and a liter bag for each boy in Yosemite (quite appropriately at Jackass Lake :). We're just hoping they come back alive. While they're roughing it, we had girls' dinner (well, girls plus a 15 year old boy :) with barbequed rack of lamb, pasta, and artichokes, and lots of wine and several martinis.
I love my girls and I feel like I haven't seen them in forever what with the Zurich trip and the family visiting. I've been writing a lot lately and thinking quite a bit about my age. I went and had my annual pap this week and she asked me if I had any questions and I said no -- then said, wait! How fertile am I, now that I'm almost 35? Turns out I still have quite a few reproductive years ahead of me. But my eggs are getting old.
I know I've said this before, but it continues to amaze me to watch my girls getting more and more beautiful as they get older. I wonder if they know it. I wonder if I, too, am getting more attractive. I somehow doubt that I am, but I see them growing more and more radiant and attractive and sure of themselves and I adore them -- one of my girls turns 43 next week! 43! ;)
I wish I'd taken a picture of the dinner table with my lovelies around it because it would've made a great photo. I came back from Switzerland and all I wanted was to be alone. I had to get over that quickly because my sister and my son came to visit (and that's been fun!), but now I really feel like I'm ready to not be alone and it's good to have the girls around -- to remind me that growing older isn't a bad thing, and that good friends make everything in the world better.
| Every time we lose a single girl... | 12:14 AM |
Every time someone I know gets married it kicks off marriage related topics in my little head. I was just thinking about how a year and a half ago there were four of us engaged women at Ed & Ineke's wedding and none of us wanted to catch the bouquet. Clearly that speaks for itself. In the end, the bouquet got tossed twice and I only ended up with it out of pity for everyone involved in the whole affair -- the poor scared girls that didn't want to touch the thing (including me) and the poor bride who had to toss the thing twice.
So why didn't any of us want the bouquet? One of us was just gun shy about marriage -- she ended up happily married (just recently). One of us is unhappily married. Two of us quickly disentangled ourselves from our pending commitment errors -- one of us at the very wedding where the unenthusiastic bouquet toss took place.
Every time I hang out with my friends lately, I find myself wondering how much of their relationship status affects mine. I'll bet that if they were all single, I would probably be more inclined to stay so. Not to say that I'm in a relationship just because my friends are, but that their lives, given our closeness, can't but affect me to some degree. I see their intimacy and happiness, and their flaws and strains, and my gut no longer recoils from it -- the thought of spending forever with one person (or at least the foreseeable future) -- in fact it seems potentially worth giving up my freedom for.
| The New and the Old | 11:17 PM |
Two of our closest friends got married this weekend. It was a beautiful and touching ceremony -- they had a close friend marry them, they had close friends read at the wedding, then of course, the traditional best man and father of the bride speeches. I guess none of that would be interesting if you didn't know them, but since I do and know them well, I found it wonderful and sweet.
Another close friend lost someone close to her this weekend, too. I never know what to say to people when they're going through something that raw. And I never really knew what to say to people who would say nice things to me when my mother's death was still new. My heart breaks for her.
On the shuttle ride home while I was thinking about all this turmoil and change this past weekend, I couldn't help but think how often the start of something is tied to the end of something else and warm memories blend in with heartbreak and maybe that's a good thing. My mom died the day after my sister's birthday so forever those two things are tied together. Our friend will remember her grandma's passing on every one of our friends' anniversaries. I think each year it gets easier to focus a little more on the birthday, but the death will always be there.
| Not Living in a Studio Anymore | 11:52 PM |
A close friend of mine recently said, Kitty Kat...it's time you move into a bedroom now. Seriously. Yeah, yeah.
Every night this week I've run through the same ritual -- come home from work, walk through the entire flat to make sure there are no murderers or thieves hiding in any of the rooms, get a drink and go to bed (not to sleep but to watch tv or work on my laptop until I pass out). This is my version of moping. I don't want to see anyone or talk to anyone. I just want to be in my bed.
The other night this same friend (after I told him how I'd been spending my nights) said, Oh I get it -- you're in the living room because you're pretending you still live in a studio apartment! You moved into a studio with "extra" closet space! Actually I moved into a two bedroom flat.
Every time I come up the stairs to my flat, I think ahead to how I have to walk through the entire place before I can get comfortable. But I realized that I must've done the same thing in my last place -- it's just that all I had to do then was to walk through the living room to the bathroom and I had seen the entire place. I'm not more anxious here; a two bedroom place just requires more walking through :)
| Bay to Breakers 2008 | 12:30 AM |
Photos on flickr.com/sfkat:
| Another Reason I'm a Girl | 10:07 PM |
Another Bay to Breakers under our belts -- this year is my boyfriend's first. I think Tucker's first, too. I spent the day entirely too sober. In fact, half way through I was thinking to myself that I never wanted to do this again.
This is one of my favorite costumes (seen early in the day):
Tucker was trashed, and Ed was trashed and sans his wife. Normally Ineke keeps him occupied and happy, and without her, he's a little boy. The boys got into a tussle at one point and even when I know they're messing around, I can't stand to watch it -- I can't stand the idea that someone might get hurt. Tucker kept telling me what a good mommy I was the entire trip and I thought oh god...I've devolved to this...mommying my male friends.
This year there were a couple of nasty episodes -- perhaps every year there is ugliness and I've never noticed before because I've been intoxicated. It makes sense that tens of thousands of drunk people must result in some nastiness. But it turned me off to the whole thing. But next year will roll around and I'm sure I'll forget and we'll be here again, in our dirty bathrobes, walking up the hill with a bunch of drunks and the giant floats they're pushing into our ankles. (Pictures to come shortly).
| Decadence of Vegas | 2:24 AM |
Vegas is lights, slot machines jingling 24/7, hot women dressed in their sexiest clothes, guys trying to impress, drinking, smoking, dancing like strippers, and money blown like there'll be no tomorrow. This is good for three days tops. In fact, a three day visit is the ideal length of time -- you have at least two full nights of partying, plus a possible 3rd if you're hardcore (which I'm not). This gives you enough time to enjoy the pool, gamble a bit, try out various restaurants, and still have enough time to rest a bit before each evening's outing. I didn't actually do much of any of that because I spent each day recovering from the night before -- not in a sick kind of recovering -- more a relaxed, sleep all day kind of recovery which was nice.
I was looking around me at the fascinating mix of people this weekend. It doesn't matter how beautiful you are, there is always someone hotter, thinner, and younger than you in Vegas. Look at us -- three cuties about to hit the town, and none of us could stop ogling the other eye candy around us -- mostly women because as one cab driver said, Vegas is a place where women wear their sluttiest clothes and don't look slutty doing it (well, he said something along those lines anyway :)
I thought Justin Timberlake said something clever when he said who came up with this idea that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas? He said he was from Tenneesee and what happens in the backwoods there should stay there, but this shit that goes on in Vegas -- everyone should know about that. The next night, I'm in a cab and the driver's telling me how this thing about what happens in Vegas should stay in Vegas was the best thing ever -- cause the girls just go crazy out here. I don't know what exactly "crazy" means to him, but for me it's letting go just a little -- wearing the clothes I hardly ever wear at home, not being embarrassed about being drunk out of my mind, and dancing with my skirt hiked up to my ass with Ineke. That's Vegas.
Favorite quote from this trip: She's a classy broad. That's why we bring her with us.
Recommendations from this trip:
- Forty Deuce is always a blast. The girls that dance there look like they're having real fun, and the 3 man band is great. And I like the crowd mix.
- StripSteak had both really great food and really great service
- If you need a safety pin to pop a blister, the Logo Store has a great assortment of sundries (better than The Store in The Hotel at the Mandalay Bay).
- If you're staying at The Hotel at Mandalay Bay and you ask for a fold out couch and they say they'll give you one -- they're lying. They've lied to us twice about it now. But they will bring you up a comfy ass cot instead.
| Lessons in Adulthood | 12:31 AM |
I came home last night after seeing Avenue Q with my friends and my power was out (damn that construction!). Luckily I had a headlamp hanging on a doorknob nearby and it was late anyway so I got settled in for the night. Getting ready for bed by candlelight/headlamp is fine. The only thing that sucks about no power is no internet (and no open wireless networks near home either).
The musical was really good! We had a biggish group -- eight of us, and every single one of us had a good time. We were talking about it well after we left the show -- and some of us were still thinking of it today. My favorite (and possible spoilers coming up in case you don't want to read ahead) characters were the Bad Idea Bears. Just imagine the cutest little baby puppet voices on Sesame Street giving you horrendous, unsolicited advice, then being really, really heartbreakingly sad when you don't take it. For example: you're depressed, your friends, the Bad Idea Bears, come to visit. In his sweet little baby voice, one says, you should hang yourself while the other one runs offstage, comes back, and in her sweetest little baby voice says (as she hands you a noose) with this piece of rope I found!. Their suggestions are so awful, but their enthusiasm is so contagious, and my goodness, you don't want to hurt two of the cutest little baby monsters you've ever seen, do you?!
Ed said he heard something on the radio about how it's supposed to be like life lessons for adults. It's not just a parody of Sesame Street -- it is Sesame Street fror adults. There are all these shows and educational programs about how to be a kid, a teen, a college student. What about when we leave college and we have all our fool headed ideas about what adulthood is like? Where are our educational programs about how to deal with our ever growing bills, or how to save money when you're making minimum wage, or how it's ok to have no idea what you want to do with your life even though you're in your 30's? What about those lessons, huh?!
Well, this show is it. It tells you straight up how a B.A. in English is a useless degree, how there's a fine line between love and a waste of time, how everyone's a little bit racist, depression isn't uncommon, life is mundane, not everyone knows what their purpose in life is, the more you love someone, the more you want to kill that person, throwing pennies off super tall buildings is bad, the internet is for porn, everyone's a little empty inside, and even well educated people can't get a job. I feel so smart because I'm so familiar with all these lessons -- it's like reading ahead for the exam. Except the exam is every damn day. Thank god I have a good sense of humor and singing puppets are funny.
The show only runs until the end of this week (Sept 2) in San Francisco so see it if you can. You can find a list of other tour dates on the official Avenue Q website.
| Girls' Night | 10:10 PM |
We had a girls' night out a couple of weeks ago and I got all dolled up -- which for me is putting on a nice pair of slacks and an appropriately cute tank top and the most uncomfortable pair of shoes I own -- I mean like I want to gouge someone's eyes out after I've spent an hour in them and why didn't I learn from the last time I wore them?! uncomfortable. At the end of the night, I wasn't drunk, but apparently was stupid enough to try to climb on top of a fire hydrant in front of the Rite Spot in the Mission -- per Ed or Ineke's request, of course. That fire hydrant was about half my height.
In front of the Rite Spot in the Mission (photo by Ineke)
Don't laugh at me, but in a week and a half we're going to Vegas and having another girls' night out to see...Justin Timberlake. You'd think I'd rather die than make that admission, but I'm doing it for the girls. I only know that Sexy Back song by him, but apparently women all over the world love that scrawny little playboy so what the hell.
So work provides these bicycles to ride around to the various campuses. They're called Gbikes (because everything good starts with a G, baby). I rode over to take a break with a couple of friends yesterday and as I'm leaving one of them says, You're a girl. In a skirt. On a bike. I love you! I rode away smiling and thinking ah, if only all men were so easy to please, then realized...oh, actually, I think they are. All the men I know are amazing and that easy to please. I'm the one that's the difficult bitch :)
| More photos from Yosemite | 12:03 AM |
I dreamt last night about the PUW shares I blogged about and kept thinking I don't know what companies are in that fund...how do I really know they're ethical?! I then woke up in the middle of the night in a panic...where am i?! Cozy, overly warm, and completely clean in my own bed. My backpack stinks like hell. Going five days without washing, wearing the same pants every single day, no deodorant for fear of attracting bears, hair thick with dirt and heavily weighted down by the natural oil production of my scalp. Yummy.
I'm a lazy fucker and won't get around to posting my pics for a while, but Christian posted his pics (see two borrowed ones below), as did Aaron. Aaron's Yosemite photos are hilariously annotated.
My favorite quote from the trip: Dude, we're all white.
First day of hiking...just starting off
Last day of hiking...the end of the trip
| Backpacking Trip II | 11:26 PM |
Too tired to blog about the trip, but here're a few quick highlights: got stung by a bee on the first day, had to take a dump in the middle of the woods with no cat shovel or toilet paper, girl group "bathroom" trips, climbed up and over this crazy steep and narrow ridge, and met some damn cool people I'd never met before and hung out with some damn cool people I already knew.
Self photo at top of Parson's Peak near Vogelsang in Yosemite
| My mini farm & cash apartment | 1:51 AM |
In an effort to clean up my apartment and get rid of unnecessary things, I finally took apart my "origami farm/replica apartment made of cash" that my friends built me for my 33rd birthday. It was the sweetest thing ever -- we don't celebrate my birthday often because we're usually all traveling for the holidays, but this year they made a special effort to put together this amazingly involved and touchingly personal birthday party. It was such a surprise that when I got to my friends' apartment and looked around at the decorations, I thought, hmmm...Mike & Marg must've had a birthday party for a child...I wonder who it was? And I saw my sister crouched in the kitchen in surprise birthday party mode and thought to myself, hmmm...that's weird. What's she doing here? And why's she crouching near the floor like that? They had Hello Kitty decorations which made me think of a small child (I didn't have the heart to tell everyone that I wasn't into Hello Kitty nearly as much as my ex was), and I so fully believed Ed's story about why I was over there (though the story did strike me as being slightly weird) that I wasn't the least bit suspicious.
Anyway, that was over 2 and a half months ago but I haven't had the heart to rip apart the gift they all collaborated on. In the tradition of the very personal, German folded money gifts, they made me an apartment out of origami money. With an origami farm to top it off. It is beautiful (view all the origami pics).
Taking it apart was harder than I thought it would be -- it's not easy stripping off hard glue and double stick tape. I was staring at one bill trying to think of how I'd explain to someone why Abraham Lincoln's forehead was peeled off the bill. Well, he was folded up into a chair and glued to a fake carpet.
| 7+ mile party | 11:34 PM |
Sunday morning:
me: I thought you said you were going to use the other rollers.
jess: I didn't say that.
me: Yes, you did, you idiot.
jess: Uh, no, I didn't.
me: Well, I can't use these -- my hair's too thick, I can fit enough of these on my head!
...
jess: you've been mean to me all week, you bitch.
me: you've only been here one day!
...one hour later...
jay: I can't believe you and your sister were fighting over hair curlers this morning.
Look, we got three hours of sleep. I'm on pain medication, she's a mini pharmacy. Drinks, late night, early morning...go figure. We made up half an hour later and for the rest of the day I'd laugh about that stupid fight.
We did our 2nd Bay to Breakers this year. It is seriously just one long, unofficially locally sanctioned costume party / drink-a-thon. This year we came prepared with lots of food, drink, and water. I think our first year we didn't have enough food or alcohol. I haven't gotten my pictures up, but Ineke has!
| new years, new boys | 12:37 AM |
new years was wonderful. and i didn't even suffer any jet lag. well i slept a lot in the car, but road trips always lull me to sleep. marg's friend in connecticut and her boyfriend were fun to lunch with. and their place was beautiful. nate & sara's place is beautiful. it snowed all night on new year's eve. i met a few new people i really enjoyed. we talked about boys and breaking up and being single. we drank all night (and i didn't get sick). i fell asleep on top of a beagle, but i swear i wasn't drunk. i got to see mike's grandma's place (now his parents') where he spent part of his childhood. i missed out on the south jersey tour because the trip was so short, but there will be another one -- can't miss out on the nuclear tour or marg's house, and i haven't yet seen jay's house either. i got to finish off the trip with an amazing portuguese lunch in the ironbound neighborhood with mike & marg, and marg's sister and boyfriend.
i have to admit, though, that i got home and was feeling a little blue. the rush of the end of the year and holiday trips kept my mind going, but once i got back, i didn't know what to do with myself. i've vegged out every night this week -- watching tv and hanging out with ed & his ineke away from ineke, tuck. but i went to yoga tonight and had a good time and i'm forcing myself to write so i can feel less aimless.
while mindlessly watching tv (and one of the scariest episodes of the simpsons i've ever seen) i was browsing personals. i'm not ready for dating yet or trying to meet people, but i've been starting to check out the personals on yahoo and match and just seeing what kinds of people are out there. i swam through loads of search results and finally picked out three that i thought might be good matches, for, you know, in like two months when i feel ready to email them. but ed nixed two of them for being psychos. someone should offer a service where they review your profile picks and offer an expert opinion -- especially facial analysis -- it's amazing what someone with expertise in facial expressions can see. of your five picks, ms. ahn, i'm afraid that this one is lying, these two clearly look like they have stalkerish tendencies, and this one has obviously falsified his photos. try again.
| Moving Again | 12:21 AM |
I started a new job two months ago, but didn't physically move so I've been enjoying the company of my old team mates who I still sit next to, while also enjoying my new team mate who I communicate frequently with even if I don't see her every day. But today I had to pack up all my things so facilities could move me tonight, and we've been joking about it -- they got a new contractor (Jay!) on Monday and need the space -- but it was really sad. We've all been sitting there for so long now. And I have these daily rituals -- tea and snack breaks with Danan, smoke breaks (whether I smoke or not) with Ed. Lunch with everyone every day. Conversations on all manner of topics -- even if I don't want to talk, there's always something interesting to listen to -- especially when the two Indian boys start on a topic :)
I know that the new space'll be great -- another wonderful window spot, closer to a micro kitchen, right next to a balcony, and right next to my co-worker, but I'm really going to miss those boys...
| Ed's Sanity Run | 10:49 AM |
He's on his way to El Paso right now. He's making great progress -- right on schedule. Check out the map and blog.
| Back From Vegas | 12:30 AM |
Las Vegas was awesome. We had a crazy, ill tempered, swearing shuttle driver takes us to San Jose airport. Ed got there at sunrise and was drunk by the time we got to the hotel in the mid-afternoon. The Hotel (part of Mandalay Bay) was nice looking, but dark. Everything was cutely named "The ___" including "the tp". And black. The beach at Mandalay Bay with the wave pool is great (except everyone leaves their towel lying around so there are towel mountains every so many feet in the sand). I went to my first strip joint in the states (but left unfortunately early -- I, unlike most of the rest of the group, sadly did not smell like strippers in the morning.) I played some Black Jack -- not a huge fan of gambling, but I broke even so I did well :) And I got caught trying to steal a fork from House of Blues by the coolest waitress ever.
Restaurants we ate at:
- Red, White, & Blue (Mandalay Bay): sucked
- Nine Fine Irishmen (NY, NY) -- didn't eat there, but the food looked awesome. And I love Irish music.
- House of Blues (Mandalay Bay) -- yummy
- Raffles Cafe (Mandalay Bay) -- ok, but wouldn't go back
- Pyramid Cafe (Luxor) -- yummy breakfast
- Fiamma (MGM Grand) -- pricey, but incredibly yummy
Ghostbar at the Palms (oh my god, the beautiful women at the Palms!!) was interesting. And played decent music (as in music I've heard before including Beastie Boys) earlier in the night -- pre 2/3am, and the view is amazing. And Club Paradise was the strip club we went to. That was nice -- I'd go back, and everyone else enjoyed it way more than I got to :)
| Headed to Vegas!! | 12:04 AM |
I haven't spent a weekend in Vegas in years. Ed's birthday...he's already on his way -- he was so excited to drive out tonight. Some of us got together and got him an iPod for his birthday and he loves that thing, loves listening to music and hitting the road. Last weekend it was L.A.; this weekend it's Vegas. And I'm not a huge fan of Vegas, but I love the idea of going and spending his birthday there because he loves Vegas. And I'll love it because of that. And because I'll be with some of my absolute favorite people :)
| Saturday Night Jazz at Pearl's | 11:30 PM |
I don't get out much, but I had the best time last night. We all got dolled up and went to North Beach (the three of us girls and Ed). We had dinner at Figaro's. The food was mediocre, and the wait staff a little clumsy, but our waitress was a hot, blonde woman from the Czech Republic with the just the slightest (adorable) little accent.
But jazz at Pearl's was awesome. I'm not a huge jazz fan, but I love music. And Clairdee, the vocalist, was a great live performer. I couldn't take my eyes off her (she's got incredibly beautiful eyes, too), but when she'd stop singing, I was mesmerized by the saxophonist (whose name I can't remember or I'd share it with you).
North Beach is a happening little place. It's funny because every time I'm there I think the same thing. We got there late -- about 11pm, and got out of Pearl's at 1:30AM and the place was still crawling with crowds and crowds of people. There's always such an energy when there're that many people in one place -- not always a good energy in localized pockets -- there was a fight across the street in front of Vesuvio when we got out of Pearl's -- but it's almost like static electricity -- the crowds, the heightened emotional charge, the constant feedback. There's a high I get from being in crowds like that -- everyone out doing the same thing, having fun, hanging out, enjoying themselves and each other. And me there with them, doing the same thing.
| That Baby Itch | 1:46 AM |
Someone at dinner tonight casually mentioned how fashionable it was right now to be pregnant. This in response to my observation that many of my friends are either pregnant (2) right now or have recently given birth (4). Six women doesn't seem like a lot, but the average is usually zero, so it's really a lot more than it may seem. And wow, does that make me itch. I was having drinks with a good girlfriend of mine tonight and we were talking about how we're just at that age (we're both 30) where people do this sort of thing and how much it almost feels like peer pressure to do it. But it's not really our peers -- it's our own little brains ticking away the time and telling us how we should do this thing called motherhood.
Girlfriend also expressed surprise that I'd feel the itch as intensely as her since I've already had a child - but I look back on that first year and half of Josh's life when he was completely mine and parts of it were rough, but my god, how I loved that little baby -- and maybe at this distance I romanticize it, but I know there was intense joy in that time of our lives together. Then some additional rough years where I felt distant and wasn't sure how to be a mother to a child I no longer lived with, but who obviously needed and wanted me. And now, I love him with such intensity and emotion -- something changed along the way -- I became more loving and he aged and became easier to relate to -- both of us meeting in this middle ground we could've only gotten to with time and maturity. But, yes, I want another child. When? Who knows. Maybe never? A possibility.
In lieu of the child, I've been seriously considering getting a dog. Almost just as good -- certainly just as much responsibility :)
| Tahoe Weekend | 11:55 AM |
This past weekend was perfect in Tahoe! We rented a cozy little place in South Lake Tahoe, skied on Saturday, cross country skied on Sunday, and enjoyed the large 12 person hot tub whenever we got the chance.
For my third time skiing (first time using a lift - fell on my ass quite a few times just coming off the lift :), I don't think I did too badly. Unfortunately, there are no pictures to prove it. The album is rather meager, but up.
