I went mountain biking at Skegg's Point this weekend. I ate it a couple of times -- have some scratches on my shin, ankle, and some bruises on my thighs. It's interesting how little it physically hurts when you tumble off your bike. In part because you're travelling so slowly -- I fell twice early in the ride where it was fairly steep and rocky/rutty -- and because you just don't fall that far. I fell forward the second time and the bicycle tire bounced off my helmet -- and there was something surreal and mellow about it -- the gentle way the tire's spokes (it landed sideways) bounced on top of my head, and my brain trying to sort out how it is that the bike was in such a position as to bonk me on the head like that.

I was frustrated early. My body was tired on Sunday -- a full week of running, weights, climbing, yoga, pilates, and working longer hours, and not getting enough sleep to accomodate it all -- I was worn out. And I get angry when my body doesn't have enough energy -- it hurts and that pain and frustration translates into anger.

Shortly after that second fall though, I realized I don't have to keep up. I don't have to feel bad that I'm keeping anyone behind. This is only my second time out on a mountain bike and this isn't exactly a beginner's trail. And it's amazing what my body can do if I let my mind go. I retreat into my head in a different way -- when I got really tired riding and my breathing was ragged, I'd slow down, inhale, enjoy the incredibly beautiful surroundings and the quiet, quiet, calm -- it was a perfect day for a ride -- not too hot, but warm in the shade, and my body would calm down, too, stop racing so hard.

There is a great deal of satisfaction in exhausting yourself physically, in draining everything you have to meet some end goal -- to finish a ride or a run, or to climb one more route. It is much more satisfying to stretch my aching muscles than to stretch fresh ones -- just like everything tastes better when you're hungry than when you're full -- I am more aware and appreciative of my body when I can feel it in some way. And let me tell, you, I can feel it now...and it's telling me I need to sleep...