I've been thinking lately that there's never enough time to connect with all the people you care about. Walking around the city yesterday I was thinking of friends - a close girlfriend I seem to have drifted from, an ex co-worker I've been meaning to catch up with, current co-workers I haven't had lunch with in a while, my sister - and my intentions are good and from the heart - I think of things I want to share with them, or compose the emails I want to write to them, and sometimes - even often - I never get to actually do it, but there's something about that process that makes me feel like I've shared a little bit with them.

I got an email today from a family member whose life I haven't really been involved in much because there are so many family members and I was afraid of being considered a favoritist. But I know she's been troubled lately so I emailed her. And the email she sent back overwhelmed me with emotion. It just breaks my heart that a 15 year old girl is hurting so much. I thought of one of my shittiest days - cause I still have them occasionally - and couldn't stop crying thinking of what a teenage girl without my experience and hardened skin must feel on her shittiest day.

Someone asked me something the other day - the actual question isn't important, but that small bit of conversation left me with the impression that he thought I wasn't involved or interested enough globally, politically. And I thought about it afterwards and about why not. It's not that I don't care or am completely oblivious, but it's not a high priority for me. And I realized that I'm just trying to make sure the people I care about feel good - mostly my son, but also the children (god, now teenagers) that I've inherited from his father's side of the family, and my immediate family and friends, too. At some point you have to decide which things in the world mean the most to you. And for me - yes, I'd love to have Josh grow up into a less polluted world, eating healthy meat, led by a liberal president, but it's more important for me now that he grow up feeling good about himself and knowing that I love him and that we all love him. And that my troubled teen knows that I love her, too and am here for her whenever she needs me. I just don't have the energy to try to save the world, too.